Let's Play Ninja!
by TheImaginingFalk
Summary: When I was told to test a game, I really wasn't expecting, well, THIS. And being a ninja really isn't as easy as you'd think; especially if you tend to slip while roof jumping, is a closet-daredevil, sing X-mas songs and is not the most attentive person around... But dammit, I was going to be one kick-ass ninja! "Good thing you can't get any more grey hairs, huh Kaka-sensei?" SI/OC
1. Arc I: Tutorial (part I)

**A/N**

**So, this is something that's been on my mind for some time now, and I figured, why not?**

**Rating may or may not change, which goes for the title as well.**

***EDIT* The completed chapter is now up and some things have been changed, though I still**** apologize for any typos and grammatical errors there may be.**

**Chapter finished: 7/17 - 2014**

**R and R~! Hope you like it ^^**

* * *

**_Arc I: Tutorial (part I)_**

* * *

Today was the day.

It had finally fucking arrived.

My Naruto game.

I squealed in happiness, bouncing in place as my dad opened the box using a knife. I would normally be doing it, but apparently my dear daddy doesn't trust me with a knife (or maybe it was just because I had tried opening it with my nails...). Which was a load of bull, if you ask me, because I had never cut myself, but whatever, I finally had my game!

People normally didn't associate me with games, because I was, well - for lack of a better word -, girly. I had long, painted nails - this time they were silver, glittering -, because I _detested_ having short nails (how the hell was I supposed to scratch where it itched with short fucking nails!); I loved all things shiny and glittery, along with gemstones and jewelry, which is funny because I rarely wore anything other than my ear piercings and my ever faithful necklace; I liked fancy dresses, though I never wore them; I always had make-up on when I went outside; I liked singing; I wore high heels on a daily bases, which is kinda stupid since I was near the 5'8 mark (172,5cm), but hey, I blame the blonde hair.

I don't think it helped that I never said I _liked_ games... Meh, they never asked. Seriously though, that was how it was with most things, if you didn't ask me about it, then the chance of me actually telling you on my own was one in a million. I just wasn't the sharing kind of person.

I wasn't really a people person either. My social life was nonexistent (people called me antisocial - I absolutely _despised_ that term -, I called it lack of want), which I was fine with, I had basically made it that way myself - most people just weren't interesting and I had never felt a _need_ to be with others. My family was enough for me.

I found books interesting, the world they presented to me, and games and manga and anime - basically anything that would take me any from _this_ world. Sure, I still hung out with some of my friends every now and then, it's not like I despise human beings, but I would always end up drained of energy and my mind sluggish.

Oh the woes of being an introvert.

_RIIIIIIIPPPP!_

My dad opened the brown box and I immediately bounced over, grinning like a loon. "Love ya, daddy! Thank you~!" I kissed his cheek, and snatch the box and ran to my room.

You know, most people I've met usually think I'm this mature seventeen-year-old - I think it's the clothes -, but truthfully, I'm rather childish. I mean, I annoy my brother because it's fun (don't all younger siblings do that?), and I, seriously I might add, argued with him whether or not unicorns were real.

I won, by the way, even if he would never admit it. So my unicorns ended up living three places; up on Olympus, Alaska, and in the Bermuda Triangle, but those are flesh eating, which is why all those boats go missing.

And no, I don't actually believe in unicorns, it's just fun shooting down every logical thought my brother has.

I bounded into my room, closing the door behind me with my foot, and dumped myself on my lovingly, big bed (man I loved that bed). Sitting cross legged, I emptied my package onto the bed, which was pushed into a corner. My room was longer than it was wide, so my bed was practically framed by walls on three sides, which I was more than okay with. I always had nightmares as little, and I would, time again and again, wake up crying and screaming bloody murder.

There's a reason I hate jump-scares with a passion, you know.

I remember once, I was maybe four at that time, when I dreamed - I think it was a mummy - whispering in my ear. After that I always slept with the cover over my ear and on my side, so both ears were hidden. With each nightmare I had, I would always find something new to do, until there wasn't any more I _could_ do. It's gotten better as the years passed, I don't have to cover my ears anymore, I don't even have nightmares anymore, but I'm still not comfortable sleeping with my back to my door.

Perhaps that's why I can never seem to fall asleep and always wake up in the middle of the night.

Wow that's depressing.

I set the box onto my floor and picked up the manual, giving it a dry look. _'Dude, I've read 1/2 Prince and The Gamer, I know how this shit works.'_

Offhandedly, I threw it away to join the box.

I picked up a headset with some kind of glasses attached to it - pretty cool if you ask me. I set it aside gently and took the game in my hands and opened it. I turned on my tv and PS3, quickly connecting the headset to the console, and put it on. I stuck the game in and waited eagerly.

Slowly, way too slowly, the console read the disc and I selected it on the screen.

The world around me faded and darkened, words I had seen way too many times popped into my field of vision, right in front of my nose.

**NEW LIFE  
LOAD LIFE  
EXTRAS  
OPTIONS  
HELP**

All the words were fat and glowing, except LOAD LIFE, which was faded out. But that was normal when you were just starting a new game for the first time. I reached forward and touched the surface of OPTIONS. The words shifted and new ones appeared.

**DIFFICULTY [NORMAL]  
TUTORIAL [OFF]  
LANGUAGE [ENGLISH]**

"Fuck that, I'm playing on easy." That way, I could be freaking badass, and maybe not die so much. I huffed. You'd think with all the games I've played that I wouldn't die so easily, but nooooooooo, they just _love_ torturing me! The bastards.

Yes yes, I know, I'm a pansy. Don't judge me.

Clicking a few times here and there, I was soon ready to go. I grinned at the words, for no reason other than I could, happy I was finally going to start playing.

**DIFFICULTY [EASY]  
TUTORIAL [ON]  
LANGUAGE [ENGLISH]**

I went back to the start menu and clicked NEW LIFE, chuckling darkly. "Let's go make a character~"

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in a small apartment. It was cosy, but nothing overly nice looking, and the color scheme was warm - something I was secretly grateful for.

I blinked, and gripped at my face and head. No headset.

A blue screen popped up into my vision and I heard an odd _ping!_

**MISSION ALERT  
Tutorial part I: Go Explore Town!**

**Every ninja must know their town like the back of their hand, so go explore!  
To complete this mission you have to visit all the places written below.**

**Konoha Library 0/1  
Yamanaka Flowers 0/1  
Hokage Tower 0/1  
Hokage Monument 0/1  
Konoha Hot Springs 0/1  
Konoha Hospital 0/1  
Ichiraku's Ramen 0/1  
Forty-Fourth Training Ground 0/1  
Training Ground Seven 0/1  
Academy 0/1**

**Completion award:  
EXP. 150  
5000 Ryo**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

I grinned - this was just way too cool - and touched [Yes]. The alert glowed, then disappeared in a shifting sort of way. I said, "[Menu]."

The world slowed down, coming to a complete pause, drained of all color, it became dull and blurred. At first, it was as though mist had surrounded me, because the longer away I tried to look the more blurred it became. Words lit up in front of me, like with the start menu, completely visible, glowing slightly through the haze.

**Resume  
Save Life  
Load Life  
Options  
Help  
Log Out**

I touched [Help] and waited as the words disappeared and a screen popped up. I already new what the other options meant, so I skipped the explanation on them and jumped straight to something called [Commands], which showed me and explained the different voice commands I could make.

I went back and clicked [Resume]. "[Character Info]." Like pure magic, a screen with my stats showed up.

**Name: Liv  
Title: Genin  
Level: 1**

**Rank: Genin**

**EXP: 0.00%**

**Health: 100  
Chakra: 100**

**Dexterity: 0  
Strength: 0  
Endurance: 0  
Chakra: 0  
Control: 0  
Luck: 0**

**Points: 15**

I clicked the little question mark at the top right corner. Besides the stats box, another, smaller, box appeared explaining the different stats. I knew what most of them did, so I didn't read those, and I got the feeling that [Chakra] was basically - _basically_, don't take my word for it - like WIS in the MMORPGs, so that only left [Control].

**[Control] determines how much control you have over your chakra. The stat [Chakra] goes hand-in-hand with [Control], for example, if you have 10 points in each of the two stats you have perfect chakra control. If you have more points in [Control] than in [Chakra], you still have perfect control, however if the amount of points in [Chakra] is higher than [Control], your control lessens the bigger the gap becomes.**

I closed the help box and tapped my chin, thinking. "Hmmm, where to put you."

I could at least put two in each, that way they were all pretty even, which left me with three points to dispose off. I loved speed with a vengeance, so I put one point in [Dexterity] and the last two in [Chakra] because I figured it would be easier to get my [Control] up, than the other way around.

And I just wanted a lot of chakra.

I stood up from my spot on the floor, looking around. I was in a small living room, which was separated from the kitchen by a counter. There was a sofa pushed to the far wall on the left of the kitchen counter, a hall between the two, and a coffee table in front of the sofa. A love-seat stood with its back to the kitchen, directly in front of the end of the coffee table and TV. The floor was wooden and a rug laid in the hall by the kitchen, a door on either side of the hall - I was guessing it lead to the bedroom and bathroom respectively, so I didn't check.

I wanted to get out and play Dora the Explorer ASAP!

I went the opposite way of the hall, to the right of the kitchen, and out into a little entry where I proceeded to walk out the front door. I closed the door, but stopped abruptly when I forgot I didn't have anything to lock it with.

I thought like the good little explorer I am.

I quickly said the command, which would open up [Inventory / Equipment]. Two screens popped up. The right screen was a bunch of boxes lined up, along with a little wallet in the bottom right corner with a big, fat _zero_. I pouted at that.

I was poor. Scheisse.

On the left screen was a mini me, small boxes placed around and on the body to indicate what could be placed in them, so I guessed that was the [Equipment] side. It was a bit weird how well it actually looked like me, but smaller. I mean, it even had the same short haircut as I do. Though, it shall be said, it was the twelve-year-old version of me.

Yeah, I get to go through puberty again!

Dammit.

Mini me's attire was the same as my own (surprise surprise), and the correct boxes were filled with each individual piece of clothing. I wore a dark grey, zip up hoodie with three-quarter sleeves, and a turtle-necked mesh shirt that had no sleeves. Over the mesh shirt, I wore a cropped, dark red t-shirt, which hung off of my shoulders, and on my legs I had a pair of snug camo-pants. Lastly, I had dark shinobi sandals and fingerless gloves, along with the usual pouch and shuriken holster.

Most importantly, my dark red forehead protector was tied securely around my upper left arm.

Looking back to my [Inventory], I found a box with a single key in it. I touched it, and like water, the surface rippled as I stuck my hand in and pulled out a key.

I had to bit my lip to keep in the squeal of utter glee. I locked the front door to my apartment (I am never gonna get tired of saying that) and pushed the key back into its box, then closed the two screens.

When making my ninja at the start of the game, I had decided going with my own looks - it would be too weird prancing around as anyone else, and I just knew I would scream at the mirror if I found someone else looking back at me -, the standard background - I came from a island far, far, _far_ away and was sent here to learn of their ninja ways - and that I wanted to be a civilian...

Erh, scratch that, I didn't really have a choice since all the clans were locked, but, you know, I like to pretend that I did.

Even then, if I could have chosen a clan, I'm pretty sure it would have been Nara, Yamanaka or Huuyga - I'm leaning more towards Nara (I just love shadow manipulation). I would have never, in a million years, chosen Uchiha, no way in hell am I going to be _Sasu-chan's_ long lost twin sister, who he's willing to throw his "cool guy" act away for, Sasuki.

Fuck. No.

One brother was fine, thank you.

I was on the third floor, so once I made my way down, I started wandering aimlessly around town. The sun wasn't that high up in the sky, so it must've still been morning, but even then the streets were bustling with life. Booth owners waved in costumers, shops brimmed with people and it was oddly relaxing - walking through the mass. I even found a few shops I wanted to visit, once I had money that is.

The food shops almost made me hungry though, and I was starting to crave dango even though I'd never tried any.

But I noticed that all the people around me had words above their heads. Most of them said something along the lines of 'Shop Owner', 'Merchant', or simply 'Citizen', these were the ones that were only level 1 - a rare and far in between level 2 could also be seen. There weren't a lot of ninjas around from what I could see, but the ones I _did_ see were all much higher in level, and each had the common title of 'Genin', 'Chunin' or 'Jonin'.

I looked at my reflection in a shop window. Light skinned, and freckled face and arms, I had never done well in the sun, because I didn't get a tan - I got _freckles_ and easily burned. Wavy locks of golden blonde sat atop my head in a long pixie cut, which I was on my way to growing out - I missed long hair, believe it or not - so the hair at the back of my head was a bit longer than the rest, and blue and green eyes stared back at me, ever the calm neutral expression.

Above my head, like everyone else, rested the fateful words.

**Genin  
Lv. 1 Liv**

'_Aww, I'm the same level as a citizen~!'_ With a sigh, I went back to my exploring.

The little mini map in the top right corner of my vision was put to good use - I'd probably be wandering around like a headless chicken without it -, but even then, I was pretty sure I could've found Yamanaka Flowers by smell alone.

When I went inside I heard a familiar _ping! _and misty text appeared before me.

**Yamanaka Flowers 1/1 _*Completed*_**

"Can I help you?"

I blinked - the misty text vanished -, the blond haired man, who stood behind the counter, was looking at me calmly. His hair was long and pulled into a ponytail, his eyes were a mix of blue/green, and he had this weird gentleman aura about him. I couldn't really remember his name, but I didn't even have to because of the words that floated over his head.

**Head of the Yamanaka Clan  
Lv. ? Yamanaka Inoichi**

I smiled, briefly rocking back and forth on my feet before I went over to a collection of tiger lilies, carefully petting the petals. "No thanks, I was just looking 'round town to get familiar with it."

I had always liked pretty things, like flowers and jewels, which was funny because you'd think I'd like butterflies then, but in truth, I found them creepy. Pretty from afar, but they seriously give me the creeps up close. They reminded me way too much of daddy-longlegs.

Yergh.

He hummed. "You new?" At my nod he continued, briefly looking at my hitai-ate, "Well, I'm Yamanaka Inoichi, owner of Yamanaka Flowers."

"Nice to meet you, Yamanaka-san. I'm Liv."

"Inoichi is fine." He said, smiling. "And if you ever have any questions, just come and ask me, alright?"

I grinned at him. "Sure." I left the store shortly after, unable to keep myself occupied and entertained for long. I thanked him for his kindness and started wandering aimlessly around yet again.

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

_Ping!_

**Academy 1/1_ *Completed*_**

_Ding-! Ding-!_

_***Mission completed***_

I grinned, glad I was finally done.

Nothing really happened as I wandered, besides me walking into a couple or five people (I put the full blame on them), but that was besides the point. I had, however, promised myself I'd visit most of the places again - the hot springs at least once a week -, for various reasons.

I had borrowed some books from the library, so I would be coming there pretty soon. Most of them were about genjutsu, but I did find a couple on medical ninjutsu. Nothing much, but enough to get started.

I had decided I wanted to focus first and foremost on genjutsu, as I found psychology and the mind interesting, and secondly on medical ninjutsu, because it was handy as fuck and I didn't want to be a burden to whoever I was with.

Ichiruka's Ramen, well, I'd be trying their ramen one of these days, and the Forest of Death was all I had ever hoped it to be.

It. Was. _Awesome_.

It had it all! The dense greenery, the killer predators, the high trees, the perfect spots for traps, the best hiding places. I would be making a treehouse there if it so _killed_ me, which, you know, it probably would... and to quote one sassy little Uchiha: whatever.

Who cares if I die! I want my badass treehouse! Think about all the things I could-

_Ping!_

**MISSION ALERT  
Tutorial part II: Chakra Control is for the Smart!**

**Chakra control is your best friend, so make sure you have the greatest control you can have!  
To complete this mission you have to raise your [Control] stat by two points, via the leaf exercise.  
If you are in doubt, go ask Umino Iruka for help at the Academy.**

**Points 0/2**

**Completion award:  
EXP. 200  
2000 Ryo**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

"Do you even need to ask?" I touched that fine little [Yes] box. "It's a good thing I found the Academy last though, makes it easier for me." And with that, I went into the big building.

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

I now hated children.

Not that I adored them before - there was nothing wrong with _them_, I just found it difficult to understand the little rascals - but I at least liked them when they were practically helpless and over the age of six.

Perhaps I'm biased, I hadn't met a lot of children, but who cares.

These three were the spawn of the devil himself, I swear on Pein and all his piercings.

Honorable grandson my ass.

"Argh! Monster girl!"

And that would be me, apparently.

I felt my eye twitch and pivoted on my heels, turning around to look down at the trio. Konohamaru stood, pointing at me, with a fearful look on his face, mouth open in shock. His two friends, girly and snot nose, stood on either side of him, the girl - 'Moegi' said the letters over her head - was slightly hiding behind the small boy as the droopy eyed boy - Udon - raised his long sleeves in front of himself.

I raised an eyebrow. "Cute." The word left in a curt and dry manner, sarcasm dripping from the simple four lettered word. "And you are...?"

In the most obnoxious voice I had ever heard come out of a kids' mouth, Konohamaru said, "Who are _you_, you giant?!"

"It's _Liv_, you little pipsqueak."

"I'm not little!"

I snorted - like a fucking lady - and smiled lopsidedly down at him, crossing my arms loosely under my chest. "And I'm the daimyo of the Fire Country."

Konohamaru growled, clenching his tiny fists. "Do you know who I am?!"

I smiled sweetly. "Sure, you're a brat."

"_I_ am the grandson of the Third Hokage!" He said with a cocky smirk on his face.

"I don't care if your mother was the one who invented _buttered toast_, you're still a little twit."

He faltered, stumbling over his own feet as if I'd hit him. "Wha? You-?!"

"Konohamaru!" Moegi ran to his side, and whispered incoherent things in his ear, shooting me a look now and then.

'_Urgh, I should probably just leave before they get any good ideas.'_ I deflated and cried inwardly._ 'But I can't find my way around here~!'_

Konohamaru's face changed from shocked to gleeful then determined in a mere split second, it was kinda scary to be honest. Grabbing Udon, the three formed a tight circle, whispering in hushed tones.

Then Konohamaru suddenly twirled around, a little lopsided smirk in place, and threw something on the ground. Automatically, I held my arms up, covering my face as smoke bombs exploded one after the other. Pink, blue and yellow smoke covered the whole hall, and I waved my hand in front of my face to get rid of some of it and took a step or two back. I couldn't see much of anything, but I could hear coughing.

"I think we used a little too much gunpowder, you guys." The smoke slowly cleared, and revealed the trio of the devil's spawn, hacking and coughing.

Truly, it was as sad and pitiful in "real" life as it was in the anime. Unimpressed, I gave them a flat look, turned around and continued down the hall, away from them.

"Hey! You can't just walk away like that!" Konohamaru yelled.

"Sure I can. I'm doing it right now, in fact."

Moegi ran over in front of me - blocking my path - giving me this sad, sad look that was supposed to make me feel all guilty, but nuh-uh honey, tough luck, because this lady right here had used that look way too many times to count - I was now immune to it. "B-but we need to practice!"

I frowned, tilting my head to the side. "Practice for what?" Sometimes I hated being curious.

"For when we met Naruto!" Udon said, sniffling.

"Yeah! Now come on!" I didn't get any other warning as all three of the little demons started pulling me into a deserted room. At least I'm sure they won't try anything funny.

Hopefully.

Did I ever mention how much I hate children right now?

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

I sighed. "Are we done yet?"

"No! One last time!"

And so, the three stood in front of me as Moegi stepped forward, smiling cheekily with her mouth closed and eyes blinking innocently at me. "I'm Moegi, the sexiest konoichi in preschool~! Check me out~!" Then she did her little pose-y thingy, all cute and stuff.

Next up was snot nose. "I _love_ algebra! Call me Udon!" He then did his weird ass pose with his arms in front of him.

"And I'm the number one ninja in the village! Konohamaru!" One fist on his hip and the other arm up in that pose you do when showing of your biceps (except, he didn't have any...), he looked determined. "And when we're all together..."

"We're the Konohamaru Ninja Squat!" They stood besides each other as their goggles reflected the light in that typical fashion.

I stared.

"So?" Konohamaru said, smirking. "Awesome, right?"

"Sure..." I settled on saying. "Just make sure to experiment with the amount of gunpowder you use." I proceeded to stand up from the chair I was sitting on and stretch my back, arms in the air, arching. I relaxed after hearing a satisfying _pop!_ and rolled my shoulders. "Ah~ that was nice. Anyway, you know where I can find Umino Iruka?"

"Iruka-sensei?" Moegi said, questioningly. "Sure! We can take you to him!" She giggled, and once again I was being pulled by three kids.

"Come on, monster girl! Use those long legs of yours to something!"

I didn't have the energy to reprimand Konohamaru for calling me a monster (yet again) and decided that letting them drag me would be less troublesome, then going against it. My lips twitched upward as I shook my head. "Sure, sure."

They led me out of the room and down the hall, past a multitude of doors, some of which were open so I could see the students inside along with the teacher at the front.

"Erh, shouldn't you be in class, right now." I asked.

Konohamaru grinned as the other two laughed. "Sensei is busy trying to get away from the angry mob of women." He snickered.

I raised an eyebrow, bemused, but didn't ask.

Continuing down the hall, they turned a couple of times, left and right, and finally stopped in front of what must've been the teacher's lounge.

"Iruka-sensei should be in there." Konohamaru said, pointing at the door. "See ya later, monster girl!" The three of them ran away, waving back at me.

Moegi giggled, arm in the air. "Bye, Liv-san~!"

"Bye." Udon quietly said, sniffling twice.

I gave them a two finger wave, smiling as I did so. They honestly were rather annoying, but they had their moments.

Knocking thrice on the door, I opened it. "'Scuse me, is Umino Iruka here?"

"Ah, that would be me." The scarred chunin said, standing up from where he was seated. He looked me over as I stepped inside the room. "I suppose you're the newcomer I need to help? Hokage-sama has told me all about it."

"Yup." I smiled. "I'm Liv. It's nice to meet you, Iruka-san."

He smiled back at me, kindly. "Let me just grab a few things."

I nodded my head as he went across the room, rummaging through the things laying around on the table before he took four scrolls with him. Three of them were the same size, thin enough for me to wrap my index finger and thumb around, and had all blue ends and white middles but with different symbols on the white. The fourth, however, was twice their size and had red ends with a black middle and a white symbol.

He walked back over to me and gave a smile. "Let's go then."

Iruka showed me out of the Academy building, and took me to the training field behind it. Tree stubs stood around, serving as target practice if the red rings were anything to go by.

"Alright." Iruka clapped his hands together, turning on his feet to face me. "Before we start, I need to tell you some things. In a week exactly, you'll have to come back here at 8 o'clock so you can be placed on a team with all the other genin graduates. In the time frame that we have, we need to get you started on your training, therefore I need to give you these," he lifted the scrolls up and handed them to me. "These scrolls explains the three academy jutsu that you'll have to learn, while the biggest is on taijutsu."

I nodded.

"Do you know what chakra is?" He then asked.

"Er, yeah, it's made when you combine physical and spiritual energy, right?" I elaborated at his urgings, putting the scrolls on the ground by my feet.

He nodded. "Do you know how to draw on it?"

"No..."

"Then that is where we'll start. First, sit down,"

I did as he said, sitting cross legged, and he gave me a leaf.

"This is called the Leaf Concentration Exercise. All you have to do is place it on you forehead and concentrate on it so it sticks." He pointed at his own forehead as if to underline the point. "It's easier if you tilt your head back at first as you start of."

"Well, I need to get back but if you need any help you know where to find me." Iruka began to walk off, hands in his pockets. When he nearly reached the building, he suddenly turned around and yelled, "Oh yeah! If you see a little boy with a long scarf called Konohamaru, could you bring him back to me?"

The world slowed down and ever familiar words appeared before me.

**MISSION ALERT  
Iruka's Mission: Find Konohamaru!**

**Oh no! Konohamaru seems to have gotten in trouble! Wonder what he did this time~  
To complete this mission you have to find Konohamaru and bring him back to Iruka.**

**Completion award:  
EXP. 200**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

I clicked [Yes] and the world sped up again, coming back to life. Iruka seemed to still be waiting for a responds, so I said, "Sure!" Then added as an afterthought, "But what did he do?"

A tick mark appeared on Iruka's forehead, his eyebrow twitched, as pink tinted his cheeks. "He somehow got his sensei to peek at the women in the hot springs."

I snickered. "Seriously?" At the glare from the chunin I shrunk back. "I should probably get started on this, so..."

* * *

**Leave a little review and tell me what you think ^^ anything I need to change, or just things you'd like to happen, anything is welcome!**

**Scheisse - German, means 'shit'.**


	2. Arc I: Tutorial (part II)

**Chapter Finished: 7/30 - 2014**

* * *

**_Arc I: Tutorial (part II)_**

* * *

_Ping!_

**Points 2/2 _*Completed*_**

_Ding-! Ding-!_

**_*Mission Completed*_**

I sighed, falling back onto my back, eagle spread. "Finally!"

I had taken Iruka's advice and tilted my head back at first, though every time I straightened my neck the damned leaf fell off. It quickly showed that the Leaf Concentration Exercise was harder than I had first thought, especially because I had a tendency to daydream.

The hard part wasn't drawing on my chakra, or focusing it on one point, it was keeping that focus that proved to be difficult. Every time I thought I had it, my ears (I had decided to close my eyes after following the fifth bird's movements) would pick up on something and I would immediately loose concentration.

But I am now proud to say that I can stick a leaf to my forehead without problem... ish.

I inhaled and blew a long puff of air out. "Well, time to find Konohamaru." But I didn't even get to sit upright before the next part of the tutorial filled my vision.

**MISSION ALERT  
Tutorial part III: The Academy Jutsu!**

**At the Academy the students all learn the same three jutsu, so giddy up and take forth your study headband for you are about to learn them too!  
To complete this mission you have to learn the three following jutsu and train them until they are at level 3.  
If you are in doubt, go ask Iruka for help at the Academy.**

**Substitution Jutsu 0/3  
Clone Jutsu 0/3  
Transformation Jutsu 0/3**

**Completion award:  
EXP. 500  
7000 Ryo**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

I clicked [Yes] and looked to my side, where the scrolls rested. I could get started on the jutsu now and train them, but then the chance of me finding Konohamaru would lessen the more time I spent on it.

But I also didn't want to walk around without knowing even one jutsu, when they could prove useful.

I sat up in an instant, legs spread out before me. "Alright, I'll _just_ learn them and then look for the little brat." With that in mind, I took the scroll nearest to me, which turned out to be the clone jutsu.

**Do you want to learn the Clone Jutsu?  
[Yes] [No]**

"Yes, thank you." The screen shifted and changed after I pressed [Yes], and pictures of three hand seals appeared.

**Ram. Snake. Tiger.**

I carefully made each hand seal but... nothing happened. I frowned and tried again, but like before nothing happened. I got into my thinking pose, chin in hand and head tilted to the side.

"The hell? I did everything right. The head seals aren't too difficult, there's only _three_ for gods sake, and I have perfect chakra control... Oh... right, chakra. God dammit."

I almost slapped myself. How could I forget to pour chakra into the jutsu? Urgh.

I did the head seals again, this time _with_ chakra, and I felt a rush leave my body. At the bottom of my vision I saw a blue bar, which was now a little over half full.

I looked to my left and blanched. The fuck-! What _is_ that!?

Standing there (it wasn't even _standing_), in all its glory (god, it was so pitiful), was my clone (glop, it was a glop). It looked like someone had tried, half-assed, to make porridge, which ended up getting too much and _then_ tried to save it by mixing it with water.

I was utterly thankful for the box that appeared just then.

**Hint: To cancel a jutsu you just have to think about canceling it.**

I shrugged, seemed rather easy to me.

'_Cancel...'_ I peered out of the corner of my eye.

It was still there.

'_Cancel.'_ Nope, still fucking there.

'_Cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, CANCEL!'_

Nada.

I glared at the... _thing_. I was getting owned by a freaking _glop!_ I was pathetic... "What is your problem?!" I asked it. It wriggled pitifully. "Oh yeah? Screw you! I'm going solo!" I turned my back on it.

Something - or rather, a glop - came into the corner of my vision. I growled, really wanting it just gone. "I'm never taking you back, so you can just forget it!" I turned my head away, chin up.

_Wiggle. Wiggle._

"GO THE FUCK AWAY!"

And then the most weird thing happened; it _whined_ (like a _dog _I might add) as it slunk away. It somehow (don't ask me) looked over its shoulder.

I looked back at it. "Not gonna happen, buddy."

It whined again.

"Come back like a real fucking clone and we can talk."

It whined one last time, looking down in defeat and then... _Poof_.

"Huh?" I blinked. It was gone... I had somehow cancelled the jutsu.

I threw my hands up in the air (like I just don't care). "FREEDOM! OH HOW I MISSED THEE!" I threw myself down on the ground, hugging it with all my might. The grass got in my nose. I raised my head and wrinkled my nose but it was too late, I could feel the sneeze coming.

"Ah-ah-ah-aaaahhhhh-CHOOOO!" My head shot forward and into the ground. "Ow..."

I sniffled. Slowly, I lifted my head and rubbed my throbbing nose. I pulled the digits away, inspecting them.

Well at least I didn't get a nosebleed, only god knows how easily I get those and with _my_ luck...

I glared at the ground and stuck my tongue out at it. "Bleh~ Stupid ground."

Gingerly, I sat back up with my legs crossed and sighed. Alright, so not _that_ much chakra. Guess I'll just try a smaller amount. I proceeded to do the correct hand seals, along with pouring _some_ chakra in.

I held the urge back to sigh. The clone was better than the previous, that's for sure, but that's not saying much, I think anything would be better than _that_.

With that cheerful thought, I cancelled the jutsu and did it again. I'll spare you the details, all you need to know was that it surprisingly didn't take too long to get it right, what with perfect chakra control and all, and soon enough a box appeared before me, along with familiar misty text.

_Gong~_

**[Clone Jutsu Lv. 1 EXP: 0.0% / Chakra: 5]  
A ninjutsu that creates an intangible copy of one's own body, without any substance, this means the clones do not have shadows and will not disrupt the area around themselves with their movement (i.e. won't kick up dust, crush grass, etc.).  
5 Chakra points per clone.  
E-rank jutsu.**

**Clone Jutsu 1/3**

I hummed in content, smiling. "One down. Two to go."

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

Alright, it was-

Dog. Boar. Ram.

A surge of energy rushed through me and I felt like all of my limbs had been asleep and were now waking up, prickling and tingling with every move. It grew and grew, until I almost couldn't take it anymore, then the feeling went away and I felt... relatively normal, if not for the ache that was quickly beginning to form in my back.

It was weird, having your own body, though it wasn't really _yours_. Erh, what I mean is, it was like waking up from a long nights sleep (in my case, it was usually naps) - your mind was groggy and your body sluggish, not able to comprehend anything too complicated -, and it was like moving through water in a way.

I had decided to learn the transformation jutsu, and could only hope it got better with time. It had taken some time for me to decide who to turn into, and even longer to get her body right (that sounds so weird).

I had transformed into Tsunade - of all people. You see, I kind of wanted to know... what it was like having her, erh, _assets_... Yeah... I'm ashamed of myself...

Shut up. Like you wouldn't do the same thing.

But my first try, while it wasn't horrible, definitely scared the every living shit out of me. Picture this; Tsunade... without her curves. No breasts, no butt, no nothing - she was as flat as a fucking _board_. It was absolutely horrifying, and, I admit it, I may have screamed just a little when I first saw the lack of, well, _anything_.

I quickly cancelled the jutsu and did it again.

_Gong~_

**[Transformation Jutsu Lv. 1 EXP: 0.0% / Chakra: 10]  
It is typically used to change into people other than oneself, but one also has the ability to change into animals, plants, and even inanimate objects like weapons. The transformation technique is considered to be among the more difficult E-ranked techniques, since it requires constant emission of chakra while mentally maintaining the form.  
Additional 5 chakra per minute.  
E-rank jutsu.**

**Transformation Jutsu 1/3**

I closed the box with a grin and looked down.

"HOLY JASHIN... I CAN'T SEE MY _FEET!_"

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

My first try at the substitution jutsu was probably my worst.

Yes, even worse than the glob.

I had done the correct hand seals and poured the right amount of chakra into it, thinking about the stub of wood besides me, when I saw a bird fly in the distance - near were the hot springs where, I assumed.

_Poof!_

I was floating in mid air, but I quickly found myself falling towards earth and then, (normal people would have screamed their heads off by now, but not me! I was just trying to remember breathing. I _did_ find it rather terrifying, but (it was just a game, right?) the excitement overrode it because, for a second, it felt like I was _flying_) I was submerged into water - _hot_, steamy, water.

I broke the surface and took in a much needed breath of air.

Silence greeted me as I wiped the water away from my eyes and I took a cautious peer from between my fingers. I blanched, chocking on my saliva, and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

"ARGH! My eyes! My eyes~!" I clapped my palms over my face, turning around so if I suddenly developed the ability to see through things I still wouldn't see anything.

I was in the middle of the hot springs, more specifically, the mens' side, which I would have been completely fine with, had it been filled with hot, cute men, but sadly...

The bingo club had decided to come over instead.

I could never unsee what had been burned into my mind for all eternity, I was now officially scarred for life; wrinkly old asses, bat wings, sagging moobs, and (just kill me now) I think I even saw-

Oh god, I'm gonna be sick (what had I ever done to deserve this?!).

I heard choking sounds, awkward clearing of throats and even some _laughs_ (what is _wrong_ with you people!?), and I seriously just wanted to drown then and there - alone, and in peace. But, as if to add salt to the open wound, a screen appeared.

_Gong~_

**[Substitution Jutsu Lv. 1 EXP: 0.0% / Chakra: 10]  
With this technique, users replace their own body with some other object, generally with a block of wood, the moment an attack lands.  
E-rank jutsu.**

**Substitution Jutsu 1/3**

I sank half of my face down into the water, pouting, mouth and nose covered by the liquid blue. Air bubbles floated out of my mouth, and drifted up to the surface only to pop. If they had been able to talk, they would have mirrored my thoughts _perfectly_, "Scheisse..."

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

After - I had dubbed it The Spring Bingo Fiasco, SBF for short - the _incident_ (I had ran away with a hand permanently over my eyes), I began searching for Konohamaru.

Iruka had better be kissing my ass when I brought the little squirt back! Because I wanted compensate for the trauma I had been put through!

Three hours had now gone by and honestly, I'm in the middle of the fucking town, wondering why they haven't put any dumb trackers on this kid, because - god dammit - he's as slippery as a snake. What makes it worse is that I actually saw him once or twice, but he slipped away through the crowd, and me being bigger than him - the crowd's density didn't help -, couldn't follow.

But when I _did_ find him...

I kicked a stray stone (imagining it was his head) and watched it bounce across the ground, coming to a roll until it stopped completely.

"Honorable Grandson! You need to turn around! You can't go this way!"

I blinked thrice. This was just too perfect, it had to be a trick, right? But, lo and behold, if you find the shrimp dude chances are you'll find-

"Huh? And why not!?"

-Konohamaru (The Town Anoyance). Just in front of where the stone came to a stop, stood the two arguing. Konohamaru was trying to inch his way down the street while Ebisu - of unknown level and insignificant title - pulled him back by his way-too-long scarf.

Konohamaru flailed his arms around, doing something that closely resembled the windmill. "Lemme go!"

This... was just too weird. All I did was stand there, like a fool, as slowly, but surely, a small tear formed in the scarf. The two didn't seem to notice, if the continuously tugging and whining and moaning was anything to go by.

I kid you not, Ebisu whines like a bitch, I mean, listen to him (!):

"Honorable Grandson~! You mustn't! Not if you want to became the next Hokage! I am your number one short cut to becoming Hokage, young master! I'm an elite tutor, I have taught many Hokage candidates! If you learn shinobi skills from me, everything will be easier-!"

I couldn't take anymore of his ranting - it's amazing he turned the whole thing around to be about himself. I strolled purposely towards them, they didn't even notice me, and grabbed Konohamaru ("Hey!") and his scarf. I tugged harshly, the tear becoming bigger, ripping it out of Ebisu's hands and successfully freeing Konohamaru.

With a grin, I put those 3 [Dexterity] to good use, not that that was a whole lot, and legged it out of there and down the street.

"Honorable Grandson! Stop, you kidnapper!"

Oh yeah, when you say it like that, I guess I have no choice but to do as you say...

Psh, yeah right. Why do people always say that anyway? It's not as if the culprit will listen and be all like, "Oh... oh! You said _stop_, well, my bad. Here, let me help you up and- this is your purse, right? I truly am sorry for pushing you, but it sure is a good thing you said stop."

No. Just, no.

Konohamaru squirmed in my arms, shouting at me to let him go, but I wouldn't budge. "Whaaaaa! Put me down, monster girl!" I held him at arms length, as his whole body seemed to spasm, arms and legs flailing around in an attempt to get free.

I was a girl on a mission - no way in _hell_ was I letting him go.

"Shhhh! You need to be quiet so we can get anyway from that weirdo!" I whispered.

"Nooooo! Lemme go!"

I almost sighed. Was it really too much to ask? _I_ didn't think so.

I clapped a hand over his mouth and quickly looked over my shoulder. Holy cannoli!- My eyes widened, and yours would too if you ever saw Ebisu run after you. A cloud of dust floated in his wake as his sunglasses glinted evilly, quickly eating up the distance between us, and with a ferusious roar, he yelled, "Come back here, you brat!"

I almost rolled my eyes at him. Really, brat? That was the best he could come up with?

"Not even on your _life_!"

I rounded a sharp corner, and ducked into an alleyway, hidden behind a booth. I was squatting behind a couple of bins when I felt the most disgusting feeling on my hand ever. The hair on my neck rose, goosebumps erupted on my arms, and I looked down at the little boy in my arms.

Vaguely, I heard Ebisu pass by us and the familiar _gong~_

**You have learned the skill [Stealth]. It has been added to your skills.**

I ignored the text for now - I had more pressing matters.

Konohamaru's eyes glinted mischievously and I could _feel_ the smirk on his lips.

Wait a sec... His lips?

Oh. My. God.

He just fucking licked me! The little brat _licked_ me! Uuuhhhhh, I swear, if it wasn't for this dumb mission and the EXP I would have wrung his neck a loooooong time ago.

"Ew!" I released him as if he was on fire and he scuttled over to the other side of the alley. I wrinkled my nose, tongue sticking out between my teeth in disgust, as I wiped my hand on my pants.

I was so focus on making sure my hand was clean from brat-saliva that I jumped slightly when I heard a sniffle. I looked up, blinking.

Konohamaru held his scarf tenderly in his hands. "It's ruined..."

Oh god, this wasn't one of those sad-feely moments, right? "I'm sure you can buy a new one." I tried telling him carefully.

He sniffled and his eyes began to water. Holy shit- it _was_.

"But this is special..." He lowered his head so that his face was hidden.

Was this seriously the same kid that called me a monster? Or did I some how pick the wrong boy up?

His shoulders shook, and the sniffles came more steadily.

Oh my Jashin... Please don't tell me he's about to cry, _please don't tell me he's about to cry!_ I can't deal with that! I'm shit at comforting crying people, you know! Seriously! I'm _begging_ you! Don't do this to me! I'll do anything! Anything!

**MISSION ALERT  
****Konohamaru's **Mission: Repair That Scarf!

**Awww~ It seems like dear Konohamaru's scarf is ruined, won't anyone help?  
To complete this mission you have to fix Konohamaru's scarf and bring it back to him.**

**Completion award:  
EXP. 150  
1000 Ryo**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

Well...

That was rather convenient.

With a sigh, I pressed the [Yes] box. "Sure. Fine. I'll fix your scarf."

He sniffled, looking up at me with big glistering eyes. "Really?"

"Only as long as you'll be quiet and co-operative. That way we can get away from the shrimp dude."

He jumped up with renewed strength, a look of pure determinant on his face, and I found myself smiling. "Of course!"

* * *

**Scheisse - still German, and still means 'shit'.**

**Review~!**


	3. Arc I: Tutorial (part III)

**Chapter Finished: 9/04 - 2014**

* * *

_**Arc I: Tutorial (part III)**_

* * *

I pouted.

He was a level three.

I quickly snuck a look back at Konohamaru - I had only just _now_ checked his level -, who was on lookout for Ebisu. I had been sulking and pouting over the fact for the last five minutes, and it didn't look like I was getting anywhere closer to... Erh, well I didn't really know what I was trying to get closer to, but, you know, it would be nice if I was a higher level than him at least.

I continued to pout.

_Meanies_.

Konohamaru and I slunk around the walls of the streets, though we stayed out of the alleys since (I now understood why shrimp dude didn't want Konohamaru here) this was the bad side of town. It wasn't _entirely_ bad, but there was a multitude of love hotels, brothels, bars, and the lot.

We've had to evade Ebisu a couple of times, which only resulted in going deeper into uncharted territory, and we were nearly caught in the start because every time I tried to stay silent, I would crawl into someone or something.

At least my [Stealth] skill was now soon level four.

"Honorable Grandsooooooooonnnn!"

Speak of the devil (and he shall come). I dragged Konohamaru behind an outdoor booth, the man there sending us a quick, lopsided, smile before he pretended to ignore us.

For the shadier part of town, I actually found some pretty decent people. When some of the booth and shop owners heard how Konohamaru and I were harassed and stalked by this so called "elite" jonin, they agreed to help hide us.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't _exactly_ harassing either of us (what they didn't know, wouldn't hurt them), and he was following me because, well... I mean, I _had_ - _kinda_ - kidnapped the little twerp, and it was against his will but only in the start! Now he was totally with me! Honest!

I shifted, my legs were starting to cramp from being constantly bent, and stretched my right leg out, feeling the slight burn in my muscles. Promptly, something crunched under my foot the same instant I put it down and I withheld a wince.

Fuck me, and fuck my level three [Stealth], too!

I had stepped on broken glass.

"Aha! There you are!" Ebisu cried out, doing a one eighty on the spot. "Give the Honorable Grandson back!"

I didn't dare look back, I just grabbed Konohamaru and ran for it. I turned a corner, the jonin hot on my tail, and I quickly realized that I couldn't out run him - he was getting closer. My eyes darted around for something I could use, anything that would slow him down, and I toppled a couple of boxes over and onto the street. Curses and swears were shouted at me, from Ebisu but also from the people that stood too close, though I never once stopped.

Unfortunately, Konohamaru didn't have as long legs as I did and was starting to fall behind. The only way out I saw at the moment was to go into a building, and at the time, my brain thought it a good idea to run into a brothel, so I did...

Yeah, I know, not the best place to bring a seven-year-old. But for all I knew, Ebisu was a (closet) pervert, so perhaps it would work. I _hoped_ it would, at least.

I decided it was time to test my acting skills.

We ran inside and immidately hid behind one of the multiple screens that was there, peering around the corner. Ebisu barged in though the front door, causing the occupants to look at him weirdly but soon dismissed him as unimportant. His head whipped around so fast I was afraid his neck would break, looking around for Konohamaru and I.

I lead the two of us further back into the brothel and told Konohamaru to stay hidden, only to come out when I came to get him. I shuffled behind a screen, so no one would see me when I preformed my jutsu. Now if I just didn't have such a horrible memory when it came to things I actually needed to remember, that would be great. I held in a sigh.

The transformation jutsu.

'_Alright... Monkey... No, no, it was Dog, boar and then tiger... _Goddammit_. Dog, boar...'_ I slowly formed each hand seal, pouring the right amount of chakra into it.

Dog. Boar. _Ram._

A familiar surge of energy rushed through me, the blue bar in my vision draining a little as my limbs tingled, and I looked down at myself. I grinned, sashaying out from my hiding place as I winked at Konohamaru's gaping form, and walked over to some of the other host women.

"Oh my god," I gasped, "do you _know_ who that is?" I pointed at Ebisu, who was trying to look for Konohamaru at the same time as he was looking at the curvy and scarcely clad women lounging around.

But the three women I had walked up to all looked uninterested at the shinobi. "No? Should we?"

I widened my eyes, holding a hand up to my mouth. "Of course!" I leaned in closer, indicating for the others to do the same. "I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but... He's apparently really, _really_ rich but he doesn't want to flaunt it around, though I heard he buys expensive jewelry to his favorite, Jane."

"Jane?" The one in the middle asked.

Aw shit, I shouldn't have said any names, now I've ruined it all-

The one to the left gasped. "So that's why she's looked so smug in the last couple of days!"

I quickly agreed. "Exactly! But, you know, there are rumors going around that he's getting _bored_..." I left the rest up to them to figure out.

"You think we have a chance?" An almost greedy glint entered the eyes of the one on the right.

I smiled encouragingly. "Sure. Though he may come off as cold and try to push you away, but he's just playing hard to get, he likes a woman who knows what she wants." I winked at the three.

They were all over Ebisu in a split second, draping themselves over the blushing and stuttering man, and I held back an evil snicker. I carefully made my way back to where Konohamaru was hiding and gestured for him to follow me, after I cancelled my jutsu of course.

We circled around the group before leaving the building altogether, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I straighten up, coming out of the crouch I had been in.

[Stealth] has reached level 4!

"So, where do we go now?" Konohamaru asked, fidgeting with his scarf.

I shrugged, eyeing the fabric between his hands. I should probably get it out of the way as quickly as possible. "We can go and get your scarf fixed."

He brightened almost immediately. "Sure!"

I smiled, his excitement was so contagious.

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

On my little tour around the village I saw a tailor, and that was were I had headed. I knew the general area where it was located, but that was all. So I hadn't really been expecting to find it as quickly as I did.

It must've been my lucky ten minutes.

When I had first showed the scarf to the female tailor, she had wanted payment and was about to say so. But after I discretely nudged Konohamaru out from behind me and told her it belonged to him, she readily did it for free.

Shut up. I know I'm cheap.

The only thing we could while she fixed it was wait, so we did.

Konohamaru ran around the shop, entertaining himself, and sometimes talked to me about his awesome rival (guess who). I took forth one of the books I had borrowed from the library - one on genjutsu. Granted, it didn't take too long for the scarf to be done, as if it had never been torn in the first place, but I did at least get through the first two chapters.

The lady gave Konohamaru his scarf with a bright smile and said, "Here you go, Honorable Grandson."

He stared at it with bright eyes before promptly snatching it out of the lady's hands and ran over to me to present it. "You fixed it!"

Actually, the lady over there did, but who was I to turn down praise?

I agreed. "Totally..." Though I couldn't help the sarcasm that entered my voice.

_Ping!_

_***Mission Completed***_

_Ching-a-ling~!_

**You leveled up!**

A grin slowly spread across my mouth.

I almost jumped from pure joy and did a little internal victory dance. I wasn't able to wait, so I made the world pause around me by entering the menu and opened up [Character Info]. It seemed I had gotten three points to dispose off, by leveling up, so after some thought I put one point each in [Dexterity], [Endurance] and [Strength].

**Name: Liv  
Title: Genin  
Level: 2**

**Rank: Genin**

**EXP: 00.00%**

**Health: 120  
Chakra: 125**

**Dexterity: 4  
Strength: 3  
Endurance: 3  
Chakra: 4  
Control: 4  
Luck: 2**

**Points: 0**

I un-paused the world, thanked the tailor, and lead Konohamaru outside again. As we walked in the direction of the Academy, which he still hadn't realized, Konohamaru happily bounced around with his too-long-scarf in his grip, words shooting out of his mouth a hundred miles per hour.

I tuned him out, humming Christmas songs under my breath. Yeah, I know, not exactly the time of year - it was summer vacation for me still -, but when you feel like singing Christmas songs, you better just let it out!

We passed by the street leading to the hot springs (I withheld a shiver), I wasn't so hung up on trying it anymore, then came the busy streets of the market. I seriously loved this place. It smelled of sweets and dirt, a surprisingly good mix, the good mood was incredibly infectious, though it was noisy and loud with all the people, and perhaps a bit tight some places, but to me that just added to its charm. We were quickly eaten by the crowd and even though I tried my best, I still bumped into someone.

"Hn."

"Oh, sorry." I said and- Wait.

My head whipped back and I narrowed my eyes at the retreating back of a familiar black haired boy. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt with the telltale symbol of the Uchiha clan, tan shorts and arm warmers.

Huh...

"-ey! _Oi!_ Monster girl!" A hand was waved in front of my eyes, so I quickly lost sight of the grumpy kid, who weaved through the crowd like a ninja. Erh, well he was one, so I guess that makes sense.

I tilted my head to the side, looking down at Konohamaru. "What?"

Konohamaru pointed at a man, pouting. "He wants you to help him."

A man, dressed in traveling clothes and a backpack, stepped forward. "You see, I need to deliver this letter to Mamoru at the Traveling Ninja but I don't have the time..." He trailed off uneasily, holding the said letter up.

I looked at the letter, then discreetly gave Konohamaru a nudge back when he poked me, pushing me closer to the man.

**MISSION ALERT  
Delivery mission: Delivery Coming Through!**

**Every ninja need to start off somewhere! Helping citizens is a great idea!  
To complete this mission you have to deliver the assigned package to Mamoru at the Traveling Ninja.**

**Completion award:  
1500 Ryo**

**Will you accept?  
[Yes] [No]**

I sighed, but accepted the mission nonetheless, and told him as much, before I quickly went on my merry way with Konohamaru in toe and a letter in my inventory.

"So, monster girl, you're a ninja, right?"

I pointed to the dark red hitai-ate wrapped around my upper left arm. "'Course I am."

"Then, do you know any cool jutsu?" His eyes seem to brightened at the mere thought.

My eyes darted to the side, and I laughed nervously. Ah shit, he just had to ask that, didn't he? "Why do you ask?"

He stopped in front of me, forcing me to stop as well. "Can you teach me something?!"

I was so fucking screwed.

'_Alright, Liv,'_ I coached myself, _'time to bullshit your way through this. You can do it!'_

"Do you even know any?" I asked instead.

He hesitated, fingers twirling around each other. "Erh, well, not _really_, but they're about to show us the leaf concentration excercise!" He quickly added at my raised eyebrow.

I smiled lopsidedly. "Gotta learn how to crawl, before you can walk."

"What! Why!?"

"Because even if I did teach you a cool jutsu, you wouldn't be able to use it because you either don't have enough chakra or your control is too low." I said matter of fact.

I should get a medal or something.

Konohamaru sulked, kicking the ground. "I"ll never catch up to him..."

I blinked once, and then looked down at the pouting boy. All he wanted to do was be on equal grounds with Naruto (I assumed it was _him_ he was mumbling about), his rival. It was kind of sweet in a way, because if you asked me, they both needed someone like that in their lifes. Sasuke may have been Naruto's other rival, but Sasuke wasn't entirely good for him, while Konohamaru _was_. I mean, Naruto didn't have to run after _his_ ass to get him back, did he?

(I just made that sound like some wicked yaoi story... Well shit.)

I smiled gently.

"As long as you're having fun, you'll be fine." I said, ruffling his hair.

He smiled.

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

As soon as the Academy came into view, he abruptly stopped in his tracks, seemingly figuring out why I came after him in the first place. I nearly crashed into him, if not for the fact that I had been keeping an eye on him for when this would happen, because it would sooner or later.

He swiveled around on his heels to glared at me, though it looked more like he was pouting, pointing one finger at my nose. "You-! _Traitor!_"

I raised an eyebrow. "Who ever said I was on _your_ side? Iruka asked me to bring you back, so..." I trailed of with a one shoulder shrug. "It's nothing personal..."

Yet, that is.

A grin formed on my lips without my consent. "So if you would just follow me, then we can-"

"NEVER!" He raised his hand in the air, like he was some kind of super hero calling for help. "Calling the Konohamaru Ninja Squat for assistance!"

Nothing happened at first, but Konohamaru just smirked smugly, until two shadows zipped across the sides and over to the lone boy.

"Moegi here to help!"

"Udon reporting for duty!"

You have got to be shitting me...

They struck they're usual pose, though this time, instead of being in the front like usual, Konohamaru was slightly behind the other two as they were "protecting" him from the evil monster that was _moi_.

"This whole time!" He exclaimed. "You were just trying to get me in detention!"

Moegi and Udon gasped at the blasphemy.

"How could you!"

"Unfair!"

Man~ No need to be so dramatic.

I sighed, shrugging. "I told you already. _I_ thought your prank was kind of funny though, obviously, Iruka didn't quite agree."

Konohamaru huffed, sounding offended. "'Kind of'?!"

My lips twitched upwards and I hummed. "Mmh-mh, but how did you even get a teacher to peek at the women in the hot springs?" I asked with interest.

He puffed his chest out in pride as his two friends giggled besides him, hands and sleeves covering their mouths. "A master prankster never reveals his tricks!"

I discreetly picked up a stone, holding my hands behind my back. "Awww~ Come on~ I promise I won't tell anyone." I smiled good-naturedly.

"Hmmm... nope."

"Not even a hint?" I inched closer to the trio, standing just before Moegi.

Konohamaru contemplated it for a little bit, before he shook his head and said, "No."

"That's too bad." I transformed the stone behind my back, raised my arm and-

Frying-pan no jutsu!

-I whacked an unsuspecting Moegi over the head, not really thinking at that exact moment, as I simply bore a neutral expression. It didn't even faze me that I could get in a shit load of trouble for doing this, and I'm not even kidding, I would most likely do anything to get EXP.

Texts suddenly popped into my vision.

**Congratulations!  
You just defeated Moegi!  
EXP. gained 125**

I blinked owlishly. Huh? What the hell does-? Carp, I didn't kill her did I? Checking to make sure, Moegi was still very much alive, I found out she was just knocked out, her health bar almost reaching zero.

Udon gasped as Konohamaru gaped at his down fallen comrade. "Moegi!"

A glint entered my eyes, a manic grin spreading across my lips, because if there was one thing I now knew, it was that I was so gonna enjoy this.

I grinned like a shark, toothily and wicked, before promptly jumping (one terrified) Udon.

**Congratulations!  
You just defeated Udon!  
EXP. gained 125**

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE DEFEATER OF _TWERPS!_ FEAR ME!

I slowly tunred on Konohamaru, who was cowering back from me, letting the frying-pan repeatedly fall down in my open palm.

I grinned. "So... Are you gonna come along like a nice little boy, or do we have to do this the hard way?"

He was quick to agree. "I-I'll come!"

"Good." I purred.

Jingle bells~ Jingle bells~ Jingle all the way~

* * *

**~(^+^~) ~(^+^)~ (~^+^)~**

* * *

Iruka was waiting outside the Academy when I came, Konohamaru following me with his hands in his pockets and an angry pout on his face. Not once did he try to run away though, because every time his eyes darted around, I held up my frying-pan of eternal doom.

"Thank you, Liv-san." He said as he took the little boy from me. "I hope he didn't cause you too much trouble." He sent Konohamaru, who scowled at the ground by his feet, a scolding glare, eyes narrowed, but then looked at me apologetically with a sheepish smile on his lips.

I smiled bashfully. "Nah, nothing I couldn't handle."

He smiled. "I'm happy to hear that. But I'll be taking this little troublemaker to detention now. Come to me if you ever need help with anything." He guided Konohamaru away as he waved to me and I waved back with a smile, watching as he went inside the Academy with a defeated and pouting Konohamaru.

_Ping!_

_***Mission Completed***_

"Well," I arched my back, stretching my arms above my head, and let out a pleased groan, "time to log out. [Menu]!"

**Resume  
Save Life  
Load Life  
Options  
Help  
Log Out**

I paused, my hand just hovering over [Log Out]. "I... forgot to save... Huh." I looked down at the palm of my hand. "Hand meet face, I have a feeling you two will become very good friends in the near future." I promptly slapped a hand over my face, groaning in annoyance. "I'm so _stupid!_ If I had _died_," realization hit me like a ton of bricks and horror replaced all annoyance, "I would have had to find that brat again! And all my effort in learning those jutsu! A waste!" I wallowed in my own self-pity for about a second more before repeatedly hitting [Save Life]. "Save! Save! Save! I am _not_ doing that shit again! I refuse!"

**Life Slot 1  
Life Slot 2  
Life Slot 3**

After choosing [Life Slot 1], I logged out and the world faded into black.

* * *

**Oh noes! Liv nearly met Sasuke!**

**Sorry about the fillerish chapter and that it took so long for me to finish this, but on the bright side, the canon plot will start in two, maybe three, chapters! So that's when Arc I finishes!**

**Please review!**


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